


Existing By Choice

by MikeWritesThings (orphan_account)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alien Lesbian Affairs Are A Little More Difficult To Think About Then You'd Think, And Pearl Is Lost, Especially Fusion, F/F, Fusion, Mentions of Slavery, Oh God Fusion, She's gone, Slavery, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, servitude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 14:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7718422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/MikeWritesThings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose Quartz rescued her from being someone she didn't even know she did not want to be until she saw the light.</p><p>Now she has a choice, for the first time in her existence.</p><p>Alternatively: Pearl Has Strong Feelings For Rose Canonly And This Is Basically How I Interpreted Them</p>
            </blockquote>





	Existing By Choice

Thousands of years in servitude had shaped Pearl into something she didn’t realize she didn’t even want to be until Rose Quartz had shown her a different light, one much, much different from Homeworld’s ways, built upon the foundation of the lower class serving the upper class. She’d always been a simple pearl, bound to serve the higher-ups of the the fractured mess of a society the planet upheld. ‘Society’ was stressing a bit. Could it even be called that when some gems existed purely to do other’s biddings, often with no say, or no voice to sound out their own opinions and views?

Rose Quartz had opened her eyes. She’d been a blind servant, like many others like her, a slave who interacted with others only on command. She’d never had time, nor room, to think about anything else other than serving other gems. But Rose Quartz had given her the time, the opportunity, to  _ think. _

Her ideas planted like a seed in her mind, and the roots dug in deep, refusing to let go as the idea flowered in her brain. The idea that she and others could live, where there were no ideas of ‘upper’ or ‘lower’ class. There was just..Them. They would all be equal. 

The ideas Rose had left Pearl in a constant state of  _ thought,  _ something she’d never had before. The more she thought about it, the more she loved Rose’s ideals, and the more she began to hate and see the wrong in what Homeworld was doing to other planets, and to itself. This was a society that was doomed to fail. Should there be a lower, they’d always rebel against the upper. Even if it took them a couple hundred thousand years to do so.

The day Pearl had shed what  _ made _ her belong to someone, the clear marking of who she was made to serve, she had felt whole and new. She had left behind someone who was not her, but a mindless individual who had existed to serve. The her now was someone with the freedom to think and speak and share her ideas and talk to others and  _ be her own. _

Rose had opened her eyes, freed her from the shell that she hadn’t even noticed encasing her own life. She had set her free.

The rebellion wasn’t pretty, and though she was now free of the bonds of servitude she had abandoned on Homeworld, she found herself willing to cater to every one of Rose’s commands, and yet, still being her own person. She  _ chose  _ to serve Rose. She _ chose  _ to fought alongside her. And she did so for a better cause.

She had never been able to choose before.

They fought alongside one another as equals, and every moment they had ever fused, had been wonderful. She  _ willingly _ fused with the one who had opened her eyes and lead her away from the life she realized she hated, she  _ wanted  _ to constantly be equal on a  _ whole other level,  _ as she was with Rose. Fusion with Rose had been--and always will be--one of the greatest experiences she’s ever had in her entire life.

Together, as one, one feeling and one being, equal in strength and reason, determination and will, fighting for what they knew to be right, against those who had done wrong. They were truly equal this way. Rose was no longer the leader, Pearl was no longer the follower. They were both one. They were ultimate. They were together.

And yet, all things had to come to an end.

It was over. And gone.

And so was the reason to fuse.

But, that did not matter, because though their numbers were  _ significantly l _ ower than they had been before, they were now able to coexist peacefully on the same level, without fighting. Of course, they did occasionally fuse to fight the corrupted beings that had taken shape in those of monsters, it wasn’t to the same level as what they had been in the war.

Greg Universe was someone she felt she didn’t need to fear, but it later became apparent that she should have.

She thought it’d pass. Rose had her fascination with humans, finding them so  _ wonderful, _ and she’d had a few other fleeting interests in certain ones over the centuries, but they’d always  _ passed.  _ She could love humans  _ all she wanted, _ but  _ Pearl  _ was the constant,  _ Pearl  _ had been there, Rose had lead her through the realization that she was  _ more _ than a servant.

_ More than that.  _

_ Equal to you. _

And, Pearl found herself thinking as she looked at Greg Universe, she was equal to Rose, and they were  _ both _ more than him.

They could  _ fuse. _ They could exist together. They could be one sentient being, sharing the same thoughts and emotions and feelings and experiences. When they fused, they weren’t a  _ they, _ but just one. Just a  _ she.  _

That was more than what Greg Universe could  _ ever  _ be to Rose Quartz.

Or so, Pearl had thought.

And so, she had been wrong.

Because now, Rose was gone.

The one who had lead her away from something that wasn’t her, not really. The one she fought alongside with many others, the one who she fused with countless times, the one she’d lived with for centuries, existing around each other, with each other.

And she was gone.

She chose someone else.

And now she was gone.

Garnet couldn’t possibly understand, no matter what she tried to say to Pearl to give her comfort, because Ruby and Sapphire existed  _ as _ Garnet, always with  _ each other.  _ Rose was  _ gone, _ and now Pearl _ couldn’t exist with her anymore. _

Her emotions, the ones she’d learned to have with the helping hand of Rose Quartz, felt wrong and cold and dry as she looked over the child. Her thoughts and her mind, the thing about herself she had come to rely on, were full only of regret and sadness and a sort of... _ Guilt. _

But Rose, was not entirely gone.

She existed, in some form, as Steven. He had her gem. He was her, in a way. And for that, Pearl had to protect him. She couldn’t let any harm come to him, a trace of Rose Quartz, the gem who’d rescued her.

So Pearl existed for Rose Quartz, and she existed to fight those who threatened others, and she existed to be there as a support for the gems, and she existed to protect Steven Universe.

And these were all her choices.

So maybe it wasn’t as bad as she’d initially thought it’d be, helping raise Steven. She eventually grew to love him for  _ him _ and not the gem he had, and she didn’t know how to feel about Greg Universe, feeling as if he’d been the main cause for all this, but she was willing to be friendly, to try and talk it out with him, for  _ Steven’s _ sake, and for Rose’s.

She’d do it for her.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in twenty minutes and have many regrets
> 
> i probably interpreted everything that went on in the show wrong but oh well
> 
> also what even is steven universe fanfiction because i don't know


End file.
